The whole courtship process is done, now the wedding and honeymoon is almost behind you and you are staring into the face of marriage.

How do you keep the spark from going dim? When arguments rise, how do you resolve it? How do you ride above insecurities and doubt?

Listed below are five critical things newly weds or intending couples should know to prepare them for what lies ahead:

1. Things will change

No one remains “the person I first loved” forever. You and your partner are going to evolve a whole lot over the years, and as a result, your relationship will need to adapt and even create a new side of “us” to survive.

The earlier you realize this, the easier it will be.

2. You will have serious conflicts

Research have shown that all couples in long-term relationships will have two to three recurring conflicts that will go a major length in the relationship.

This problem would be the same even if you were to find a new partner. So, learning how to process conflict well, and at times, agreeing to disagree is very essential.


3. Patterns will develop

Over time you will develop patterns or a way of dancing in this relationship together that will become predictable and at times monotonous.

Pay attention to the patterns you create and change them if you need to. If you notice your relationship needs a spark, why not light the fire.

4. Love is an action word

There will absolutely be times in your relationship where you will just not be feeling love or admiration for each other.

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The feeling of love in a long term relationship ebbs and flows. However, love in action operates beyond feeling. It resides in the wells of compassion, care, empathy, loyalty, trust, grace, kindness, and peace.


5. A lifelong relationship is an asset

Marriage is not for the faint-hearted. It will stretch you, challenge you, wound you, teach you and heal you.

There will be times you will want to and even feel justified in cashing it in. But, just like a most advantageous things, the most important interest isn’t fully realized until you have held onto it for years.

So as you head into marriage, know that there will be trying times, sometimes difficult but rising above it is what matters.