This Is How To Differentiate Between Love And Lust In A Relationship

• Ayo AL
• October 23, 2017
• Relationships
• differentiating between love and lust, How To Differentiate Between Love And Lust
• 0 Comments

This is a common scenario: You meet someone new, and one look, just one look is all it takes to light up the fuse of sexual fireworks and thunderbolts. You have sex, wonderful sex. You can barely keep your hands off each other — and the excitement of it all feels like you are falling in love.

But is it really so? Is it really love? Can simple lust masquerade itself as something more meaningful? Is it possible to spot the absence of real intimacy soon enough to avoid making a really bad decision?

It’s very easy to mistake the explosive chemistry of physical attraction with long-term romantic goals. But if you’re willing to honestly assess your actions and feelings, it’s also not hard to recognize the truth of your situation.

Here are 7 signs you might be confusing love with sex:

1. Your attraction is more physical than emotional.

What was the first thing about your partner that caught your attention? Was it his or her sense of humor, their good head, beautiful soul or an act of kindness you observed? Or was it their fashion-magazine physique and manner?

There’s nothing wrong with looking good, or with appreciating that type of thing in someone else. But if that’s not accompanied by a deeper reason for attraction and staying in a relationship, you may be headed for disappointment.

2. You say ‘yes’ to sex to keep someone around.

When you’ve just started dating someone new, there may come a moment when it’s clear he or she expects sex as the next step — and that their interest may evaporate if you don’t agree to it. Saying yes can be an easy way to avoid asking the question: Why do you feel their interest might decrease?

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3. You are lovers, but not really friends.

The sex is really good, maybe even very great. But what else do you have in common asides that? What would you talk about if one of you were physically rendered incapacitated after an accident?

Do you know very personal details about them that their most casual friends don’t also know? If you have trouble answering questions like these, chances are sex is standing in for deeper connection and you are into the relationship for sexual intimacy.

4. Your time together is all spent in bed (or getting there)

Do you hang out together in public places where the idea is to have fun or get to know each other better? Or do you mostly “hang out” at home where sex is instantly available and cannot be avoided?

5. When sex is done, you want to leave.

Lust alone is often all it takes to draw lovers together. But when the sex is done, lust by itself can sure produce the reverse reaction — If either of you can’t stick around to cuddle or spend the rest of the evening together, then the potential for real love is probably really small and the relationship can never account to anything.

6. The sex may be good, but you still feel unsatisfied.

Researchers have recognized that the biochemistry of sex — through the release of hormones like oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin — is meant to create feelings of well-being and bond with your partner. But that cannot overcome your own intuition about the relationship’s true potential. Beware if you feel empty after sex, rather than feeling fulfilled.

7. You resist introducing your partner to friends and family.

Is this person someone you cannot wait to show off? Or do you intuitively suspect that the people who know and love you best will see the truth you are trying hard to deny? If you’re tempted to keep the relationship a “secret,” chances are it has little lasting potential, so let it go!