A fling is someone who isn’t interested in being committed to a relationship, and Detty December is known for an increase in men who are flings, which is largely due to the influx of many IJGBS into the country. Between concerts, weddings, pool parties, beach trips, owambes, and endless “Are you around?” messages, there’s a special kind of romance that only December seems to activate.
But here’s the truth: not every December connection is meant to cross into January. Some are just seasonal, like harmattan. If you’re starting to catch feelings this festive period, or if someone is suddenly giving you attention when the year is about to end, it’s important to be clear on where you stand.
Here are five signs he’s just a Detty December fling and not someone planning to stay past the holiday lights.
ALSO READ: 7 Types Of Men Every Lady Should Avoid Dating
1. He reappears only during December
If he went silent for months and suddenly resurfaced with “Hey stranger” or “Are you coming back for December?” that’s your first red flag. Some men have a mental calendar that activates only when party season begins.
Unless there’s a valid reason for his absence, he’s likely tagging you as his holiday companion, not someone he’s genuinely invested in.
2. His plans with you are always social
A man who has long-term intentions will want intimacy outside the noise. He’ll ask to grab coffee, talk, or spend time in calm settings.
But if every invitation sounds like this: “Pull up at this concert,” “Let’s vibe at that lounge,” or “Meet me at this party,” then sis, you’re the plus one, not the priority. If it’s always group settings, no real conversations, then he’s there for the vibe, not the value.
3. His interest feels intense but short-lived
December flings have this trait: deep attention for a short period. He may drown you in calls or texts for a week, then disappear once the event rush calms down.
Real connections are consistent. If he’s super available until the party ends and then goes quiet, he’s not trying to know you—he’s just trying to spend December with you.
Most flings peak right before Christmas, plateau during the parties, and disappear after New Year’s. If by January 2nd he’s suddenly “busy” or returns to his “normal life,” then you were part of the holiday lineup.
4. He’s not curious about your life beyond the surface
Try mentioning January, and he suddenly changes the topic or says, “Let’s just enjoy now.” That’s a classic holiday villain move.
Does he know your dreams, career plans, or what you’re working on? Or is the conversation limited to “What are you wearing tonight?” and “Pull up”? A man in a fling doesn’t invest emotionally. He’s not looking to grow with you, just to share moments.
When a man wants to build with you, he subtly (or directly) includes you in his future. If he only talks about this weekend’s event lineup and never mentions anything after New Year’s Day, your relationship may expire on 31st December.
5. He is only available at odd hours
If most of his “let’s hang out” messages come past midnight or “just before the event,” that’s a sign. He won’t schedule dates in advance, hop on meaningful calls, or meet up during the day.
Night-time attention during Detty December often equals situational flirting, not serious affection.
What Should You Do If You Notice These Signs?
- Don’t ignore them. Manage expectations.
- Decide what you want. If you’re fine with a holiday fling, enjoy responsibly.
- Protect your heart and energy. Not every December memory deserves emotional investment.
- Set boundaries. Your time and presence are valuable.
- Enter January with clarity, not confusion.
There’s nothing wrong with holiday fun or a little romance during Detty December, but make sure it’s mutual, respectful, and doesn’t leave you emotionally drained while he’s posting “New year, new energy.”
If he’s showing up like a seasonal connection, treat him like one. Don’t build castles on temporary vibes. If love comes, let it be healthy, steady, and beyond party lights.
Because, girl, your heart deserves more than a Detty December fling.