This Is How To Differentiate Between Love, Lust And Infatuation
- Bisola
- November 22, 2017
- Relationships
- how to tell the difference between love lust and infatuation, how to tell when you are in love, the difference between love lust and infatuation, tips for knowin g when it is love lust or infatuation
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Love, lust and infatuation are three feelings we often mix up. Whether you are in a relationship or heading towards one with that someone you have been admiring for a while now, sorting out how you feel towards that person can be hard.
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Although there are no distinct ways to tell someone whether they are in love, feeling lust or they are infatuated with someone, it is much more easier to try to find a distinction between these feelings by one’s self.
Since you know yourself better than anyone, you are in a better position to tell the difference between all three. Before we go on, a fact we must reiterate is the inseparable link that exists between lust and infatuation. It is lust coupled with desire that leads to infatuation. This feeling is short lived and intense and often disguises itself as love
On this note, we can now make a direct comparison between infatuation and love.
1. Infatuation happens quickly while love takes time
You might be thinking, ‘what of love at first sight?’ Well you might feel some sort of love at first sight, but such is only sustained as the couple spend more time together. While infatuation happens very quickly burning up its victim with intense passion, love grows with proximity and time. The more time you spend with someone and you get to know them, the easier it is to develop deep emotions for them.
2. Infatuation seeks to control while love cedes control
If your relationship is dominated by jealousy and possessiveness bordering on madness, then most likely what you feel for each other is not love. Your relationship should not affect your individuality negatively neither should the things you do individually suffer because you are with your partner. When it is love, you are both encouraged to be the best versions of yourselves not just what the other person wants you to be.
3. Infatuation is hurtful while love is healing
While infatuation will seek to get even or get revenge after a relationship might have ended, love looks for ways to reduce the pain of the other. If your relationship is dominated by the need to keep scores, then there is a likelihood it is not love.
4. Infatuation is resentful while love forgives
Even when you and your partner hurt each other or are not on good terms, when you love each other, you will feel the need to forgive quickly so you can get back to being happy as soon as possible. Infatuation on the other hands holds on to resentment and wants the other person to feel the pain as well.
5. Infatuation grows out of desire while love grows out of friendship
Like we said earlier, infatuation grows out of lust and desire. When a person is infatuated with another, they only want to own or possess the other person like a property. Love on the other hand grows out of friendship and acceptance; there is no ownership. Love is a natural force that grows as two people get to know, understand and accept each other while infatuation is self-centered.
