how to recognize a narcissist

One of the easiest ways to identify narcissists is the extreme admiration they have for themselves. Narcissist people are those who love their own looks and appearance. Not only do they hold themselves in the highest regard, but also expect everyone else around them to think and believe so.

A narcissist always seems to be extremely selfish, arrogant, inconsiderate, jealous, and vain. Another person would only matter to them for wish-fulfillment. Narcissism is categorized as a mental and personality disorder.

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Here are 7 signs that you may be dating a narcissist

1. Charming and Romantic – But with a Catch

Many narcissists can come across as alluring and attractive, especially during the initial stages of a relationship, when they’re trying to win you over.

They use immense charm and charisma to get your attention, flattery to make you feel special,(flirting, gifts, dinners, weekend trips, etc.) to sweep you off your feet, and get you to give them what they want.

While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being charming, romantic, and a good lover, the narcissist builds these traits in order to use others. He  is not really interested in you, but only what he wants to extract from you.

2. Excessive Focus on Performance and Approval

Narcissists often have an inflated sense of themselves. They crave approval, are highly sensitive to criticism, and may try very hard to excel in everything. This is especially true during the initial phases of a relationship, when they seek to impress and win you over.

There’s a major difference between two people enjoying helping each other in a relationship and another with a  narcissist trying hard to give an outstanding performance of love, care and tenderness.

The first is true passion, while the second mere acting. If you’re on the receiving end of the narcissist’s showmanship, you’re also playing a role. Often times the expected role is to validate and worship what an everlasting deity the narcissist thinks he is.

3. Excessive Focus on Physical Over Emotional

The narcissist always focuses on the physical rather than the emotional. Try as the narcissist might at physical expressions, there’s always something missing in their performance which is genuine human emotions.

Relationships which should be characterized by intense interest in the partner-as a person rather than sexual object is missing.  passion, tenderness, and vulnerability are also absent and these are qualities that should only come from the heart.

4. You Exist to Serve his Needs

After the initial courtship period during which he or she tries to impress and please, a narcissist may begin to demand that you cater primarily to his own selfish needs.

He may expect you to be available always and satisfy whatever things at his own pleasure. He will also demand that you limit your other daily activities to be more available for him.

Rather than being an individual with your own thoughts, feelings and priorities, this person  expects you to be in existence merely as a means to satisfy his wishes. Your own needs are hereafter dismissed or ignored.

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5. Constantly Puts You Down

In order to put up a show of superiority, and disguise his hidden insecurities, some narcissists will constantly put their partners down, to boost their own desirability and acceptability.

In most relationships, narcissists may also target their partners for ridicule, blame, sarcasm, and overall oppression.

By subjecting the partner to an inferior mental position, the narcissist is able to exercise a greater degree of dominance and manipulation.

6. Goes and comes as he pleases

Since the narcissist uses you to satisfy his or her own needs and is in a relationship with you for what he can get, he may disappear emotionally, and physically as soon he gets tired or bored.

You are always left hanging, perhaps feeling alone and empty, because there is little intimacy and no real love in your relationship.

Then, as usual, the narcissist will contact you again the next time he wants a favour from you or he needs spare cash.

7. Infidelity, Violence, and Sexual addiction.

Narcissism, according to research can be associated with the following traits:

Infidelity, Domestic and verbal  violence and Sexual Addiction , all at the expense of their partners.

If you find yourself in a relationship with a difficult narcissist, there are many strategies and skills you can utilize to help restore
emotional health, balance, and self respect.