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Have you ever dated someone who was too perfect in every single way, except for the fact that he refuses to let you completely in?
It is frustrating to find yourself in this type of relationship because you love everything about the person, except for his half-cooked interest in you and your relationship.
You begin to wonder if there is something wrong with you. Are you not being caring enough? Are you not showing enough love? Is he interested in someone else? Your mind can wander into a million different reasons if you allow it to. But you do not have to trouble yourself as we will tell you why.
Below are 10 ways to know you are dating an emotionally unavailable man:
1. He is a perfectionist
A man, who has to have constant order and perfection in his life, will never be happy. Life is unpredictable, so he has to know how to go with the flow at times. If he can’t deal with life, then he can’t properly work with you or your relationship. You are not perfect yourself and he is not too.
2. He jumps from one relationship to the other
A man who has had several flings and dates or 3 month ‘relationships’, is emotionally unavailable. This is a huge red flag you should look out for. If a man tells you on a first date that his longest relationship was 3 months, and he is 40 years old, then he has serious issues.
3. He is overly complimentary.
It is wonderful for a man to flatter you with gracious comments and kind words, but if he can’t stop singing your praises on a date, then he is emotionally unavailable. If the depth of a man’s conversation with you is about how wonderful you look, then he has nothing real to say.
He is replacing intimacy with mere flattery. He should be asking you questions about yourself and your life. He should reveal details about himself and his life. If he is not carrying on a normal conversation, then he does not know how to have one.
4. He tries to have sex with you right away.
Most men are thinking about having sex on the first date, but real men know that there is a process to dating. If a man is overly flirtatious with the intent of trying to get you into bed, then he is emotionally unavailable. He has the ‘sex alone’ mentality because that is all that he is capable of. He does not have the emotional maturity or relationship stamina to put the work in a relationship.
5. He is a control freak.
If things always have to be on his conditions, then he is emotionally unavailable. If he always has to pick the restaurant, the day, the time, etc., then he does not care about your wants or needs. A man who does not ask you what you want or what you think, is only interested in his needs. He is selfish, and selfish people are not capable of love or emotions.
6. He has a temper.
If a man is impatient or rude with his staff, then he will probably be the same to you when he is not trying to be ‘on his best behavior’. People show you more with their actions than their words. Run far away from him because he is the type who will only let you go when he wants to let you go, on his terms. He is the worst kind of emotionally unavailable man.
7. He is arrogant.
A man, who is constantly singing his own praises, is usually suffering from low self-esteem. He has to keep talking about how wonderful he is so that you will believe it to be true. It takes confidence to be intimate and emotionally available. Self-love is the purest form of love, and if he cannot love himself, then he cannot love you.
8. He does not listen.
Relationships are built on communication. If a man is constantly talking, but not listening, then he is emotionally unavailable. If he can’t be interested in a conversation, then he will not be making a full-term commitment in the relationship.
We all know these types of men, the ones that ask you a question, and then interrupt you before listening to your answer because whatever they have to say is far more important. Don’t date this kind of man.
9. He is constantly cancelling or rescheduling dates.
If a man is always moving your dates around, then he is emotionally unavailable. He is not looking forward to your dates if he keeps cancelling them. He either believes that his time is more important than yours or he has a side chic that he is exploring.
If he wants to keep you on the back burner until he decides if someone else is better than you, then girl you better jump out of that boat and move on with your life.
10. He does not look you in the eyes.
A man who wants your attention, a man who needs your attention, will try and get your full and undivided attention. He will look deep into your eyes, and he will make you feel him. He will easily profess his feelings to you. If a man cannot look you in the eyes and tell you how he feels, then he is emotionally unavailable. Leave him alone. Let him be. You do not need to fight for his attention. He should want to give it to you freely.