Do you show signs of being a Tiger mom and you probably don’t know?
Tiger parenting is used to describe a parenting style that uses harsh tactics like fear and shame, but also one that prioritizes familial closeness.
The term “tiger mom” was first coined by author and law professor Amy Chua in her book, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom.”
The novel reflects upon her strict upbringing that was based on tiger parenting strategies.
While there is no hack or manual to this never-ending phase called parenting, it is great to do some self-reflection from time to time. This is because you may be a tiger mom and may not know.
Here are 7 signs that you are a tiger mom.
1. As a tiger mom, there are too many rules
One clear sign of a tiger mom is the fact that they thrive on rules. There are numerous rules that must be followed by everyone in the household because tiger moms make it clear that there will be consequences.
Children with a tiger mom would tell home feels almost like living in some sort of prison and it’s often a relief to be away, even if it’s just for a while. Not to say that there shouldn’t be rules, but they should be in moderation.
2. Your child is afraid of you
Children naturally acquire a mild fear of their tiger mom since these women may be extremely demanding and generally need to be on top of everything they do.
The child is constantly afraid of disappointing the mother and how she will react. Of course, the last thing tiger moms (or any moms) want is for their children to fear them, so if you notice your child fears you, you should definitely reconsider your behavior. There’s a big difference between a child understanding you’re the boss and a child being afraid of you.
3. Your behaviour is cold and harsh most of the time
Do you take things too seriously and can’t remember when last you really had fun with your child or laughed hard at his jokes or yours?
Tiger mom has a tendency to keep their emotions under control, which can result in them coming across as harsh and cold.
Sometimes your child requires extra affection, and whether you’re a tiger mom or not, it’s your responsibility to provide it.
Children learn from their parents, and if the parent is too cold, the child may grow up to be the same. The sad truth moms are only human, and they don’t always realize how cold and harsh they are until it’s too late.
4. You impose your choices on your child
It is natural for parents to make many decisions for their children as they grow up. However, the child will eventually reach an age where they will be able to make certain decisions.
Children must be encouraged to experiment, try new things, and even fail. However, as a tiger mom, this is not the case. Their children must excel and follow the path of success, even if they do not choose it for themselves.
5. You are a perfectionist
Tiger mothers are the epitome of perfectionists. While perfectionism can be beneficial, it can also be exhausting.
The need to have everything in its proper place and everything go as planned is a huge burden to bear, and many people simply do not understand it. Perfectionism is often a natural need rather than a choice. While living with a perfectionist mother is not easy, it does teach the children how to do things correctly from a young age.
6. Your love may feel conditional
Children of tiger moms frequently believe that their mothers’ love is conditional. This is primarily due to the fact that tiger moms become angry when their child does not follow their rules, which causes the child to believe that their mother does not love them unless they do as they are told.
This could not be further from the truth, and every mother must ensure that their child understands them. And, while tiger moms mean well, they do need to slow down and make sure they understand their children’s emotions. So, if you’re a tiger mom, make sure your child understands that your love is completely unconditional.
7. Your child tells lies
Children who have a tiger mom would do just about anything, including telling well-fabricated lies, to avoid scolding, confrontation, or punishment. The sad thing is, as you keep up with your harsh parenting, they’re equally devising smarter ways to get better at their game so you get to catch them in the act less often.