9 Years After, Nigerian Lady Who Was Sexually Abused At 13 Seeks Justice
- Anu
- February 9, 2021
- Living
- Nigerian Lady Who Was Sexually Abused At 13 Seeks Justice
- 0 Comments
TRUE LIFE STORY FICTIONALIZED BY SOLAPE LAWAL-SOLARIN
Behind the pretty face lies a scarred past, hidden, delicately archived in a special corner of her heavy heart.
The events of that year, 2013 precisely, remains one tainted with horror and pain for Sommie (not her real name), who watched her innocence, purity, and teenage years stolen, ruined, and desecrated by a loved one, not a stranger. A loved one she felt secure with and, happily called uncle.
‘’Uncle”! She exclaimed, I called him uncle, with tears laced in her eyes and her voice now quivering, Sommie struggled to fight back the tears.
She broke down, clenching a fist as I sat across the table, lost for words, helpless and at loss at what to do to stop her tears now gushing out like water from a tap.
“I called him uncle, he’s not like a family or a relative but, he was a friend of the family.”
“He was quite familiar, he’s no stranger to us,” she painstakingly explained the relationship her abuser had with her family to me.
While she went on with her explanation, my mind drifted momentarily like a leaf on a river, dancing gently to the current. My mind tried to unravel Sommie’s sudden angst and seething pain when confronted with her dark past and, I figured it out.
SEX ABUSERS ARE MAINLY FAMILY, RELATIVES, ACQUAINTANCES
According to statistics and reports, sexually abused victims are often preyed on by family members, relatives or individuals with access to the family.
Victims often fall prey because of the sense of security and reassurance reposed in their offenders or perpetrators. It is unfortunately a weakness that sex abusers often exploit in their victims.
Hence, Sommie’s pain and discomfort was as a result of a breach in trust. It was a vulnerability that her abuser exploited, smearing her innocence and scarring her teenage years.
“I was 13, when he abused me sexually,” she revealed.
“I called him uncle, though we weren’t related but, he was a friend of the family.’’
Curious to extract more from her, I asked her how did he get close to her? And then, she revealed, ‘’I stayed with them for a while because my mother was having some financial difficulties.’’
“He was married, I can remember vividly but, will always sneak up on me when his wife was not at home,” she added.
I could see her disgust, visible in her expression and reaction. It was obvious she still burns and, really wants to roast her evil uncle.
CULTURE OF SILENCE
It is not new, victims are often forced to hide under the sheets and silently suffer.
Most times, these prevalent factors: poverty, threat, and stigmatization often force victims to throw in the towel against their wishes.
It was evident in Sommie’s case that one of the aforementioned factors or even a combination of the trio had forced her hand too.
“My mum was struggling financially. I had already lost my dad so, it was difficult for her to take care of five children on her own. I am the last child, leaving me with my abusive uncle was a relief for her then.
“They took me in to reduce the burden on her but, it was a nightmare for me.’’
‘’Who did you tell”, I quipped.
“I told his wife, she however threatened to kill me, if I tell anybody.”
“Guess she was ashamed and didn’t want the embarrassment and attention it was going to cost her husband, so she warned me to keep quiet.”
“What about your mum”, I asked. I wasn’t surprised at her response, however. A mother struggling to put food on the table for her kids wouldn’t and couldn’t muster any effort to fight back.
“She just told me to keep quiet; that it’s well. She is poor, guess naïve too so, she just consoled me,” she stated.
She added, “Mum too didn’t want a public show.’’
A STRONG FIGHTBACK IS ON…
Nine years later, the viper wants to strike back. Years of silently suffering, keeping a lid on an excruciating traumatic experience, and pain finally needs to be unleashed. Sommie wants closure, she wants to bury her worst nightmare but, to do that, she needs her abuser docked.
Now 22, the young lady seeks justice; a route she admits will finally give her closure.
“Can I get justice”, she asked vengefully. “I want justice, I seek it,” she added.
Access to justice was always cumbersome some years ago but times have changed. The awareness is rife, Non-governmental organizations and government are now actively involved in this noble cause of safeguarding the rights of the girl-child and also ensuring that sexually abused victims get justice.
“Of course, you can seek justice, if you are ready,” I replied, with a puff of optimism.
However, it seems Sommie’s quest for justice still has some encumbrances to contend with.
“Is she ready to go through the mental stress and process,” Nkechi, an activist working with an NGO and also a good friend asked me when I reached out to her over Sommie’s case.
She added,” Guess she’s financially buoyant to engage a lawyer to take up her case”.
These are salient questions I couldn’t provide convincing answers to.
Sommie is an orphan, her mum died a few years after her dad. “How’s she going to pull this through? Information about her elder siblings and their status was scanty.
“I didn’t probe her “, I said to myself.
DEFIANCE IN FACE OF DISCOURAGEMENT
I got back to her and asked her the same questions my activist friend, Nkechi, had earlier asked me about her state of mind and readiness to prosecute her case.
“I am ready, I want justice. The hurdles you presented could throw me off balance but, I strongly believe I can scale it.
“If is going to take me years to do it, I’ll make sure I get justice.’
That was Sommie, brave heart, ready to confront her nightmares. She rounded off with a resounding parting shot, an appreciation that melted my heart and further showed to me that a listening ear, a caring heart at times could be a soothing balm to healing a hurting and troubled soul.
“I appreciate your care, just being there for me, listening to me pouring out my heart really feels great. I feel like I have just been relieved of a heavy burden,” she beamed.
I hugged her and hopped into my car.
As I drove off, I watched her through my rearview mirror, waving her hands, bidding me farewell and I remembered the popular adage “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”.
Sommie’s persistence and determination to get her perpetrator behind bars clearly amplifies this adage.
Whether it takes months or years to achieve this feat, Sommie seems ready to crawl, trudge, walk or run, to secure justice at any cost.
