The first year of marriage can be challenging for couples and it’s that period that tests them in every way.
Bear in mind that the quality of your marriage is in direct relationship to how much you are willing to look inside yourself and grow emotionally.
The best thing to do is take action toward changing your habitual reactions to stress and commit to daily practices that keep the relationship in perspective.
Below are four tips for surviving the first year of marriage for newlyweds.
1. Transform your criticism into curiosity
Over time, you are going to learn a lot about this other person, what you think you know is not all that you know. You are complex. We all are. So before you judge a part of your partner that you don’t like, get curious about what really is going on for them at that moment. Seek to understand them and commit to listening to them.
Blame will get you nowhere. Criticism will kill love. Expectations and rules will limit you and your relationship. So, have more conversations where you share your dreams, and ask to hear theirs. Practice more fun and appreciation every single day. Instead of keeping tabs on what you are getting or not getting, give more love.”
2. Accept that you both are not perfect
You can’t change your partner and he can’t change you either, know this and know peace.
There are many times you would get on each other’s nerves especially as you are getting to know each other better.
If you haven’t experienced your lover under extreme stress and pain, chances are you’ll witness this within the first year of marriage. What you see might surprise or even downright scare you.
It is a masterful skill to be able to manage stress well—remember, like anything else, it’s a skill that takes time. Just because you don’t like how they are handling the pressures of a certain situation, doesn’t mean they won’t change over time. The goal, always, is to focus on yourself. You can still have a beautiful life together.’
3. Do not get stuck in a routine
When we get used to something, someplace, or someone, we’ll take it for granted. And marriage, by nature, is filled with a daily monotonous routine. It’s very important to break them up! Surprise your spouse with a date night every once in a while.
Appreciate them in your mind and heart as much as you can daily—and be sure to actually share some of those sentiments. Sometimes we forget who we were at the beginning of a relationship.
Were you more carefree? More independent? More loving? More sexual? Bring that person back more than you think. This will make you feel more alive, and that feeling will bring excitement and passion back to your relationship.
4. Commit to growth
It sounds so obvious, but you’d be amazed how many people don’t actually listen to their partner. Instead of waiting for them to stop talking so you can get in your two cents, really open your mind and hear what they are telling you. Keep checking in with each other.
Ask your spouse what their beliefs are. See if the two of you can dispel old ideas that no longer represent your deepest principles. As long as you’re progressing towards a shared vision for a fulfilling life you’ll feel like you’re growing together toward a meaningful future. The goal is for the two of