You probably know by now that communication is the key to a successful relationship. But even in relationships that seem fine, sometimes there are hidden signs that you’re not communicating well with each other that end up getting missed.
There’s also a chance that you can be communicating way better than you currently are. If you’re having a lot of loud fights, or still angry that your boyfriend didn’t get you anything other than a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day, this could very well be you.
Here are some ways to know you have communication problems.
1. You are always guessing each other’s feelings
It’s really obvious that a couple doesn’t communicate successfully when they’re constantly trying to figure out what their significant other is saying. If you know someone that’s constantly talking about their relationship and asking what they should do or say or how to act in certain situations, that’s a sure sign that they’re not communicating clearly and effectively with their partner.
2. You often feel alone
This one doesn’t really need description. You feel that, as long as your partner doesn’t understand you, no one does, making you feel all alone. But don’t be alone! If you can’t talk to him or her, talk to your friend about it first (in moderation) Afterwards, talk to your partner.
3. You find yourself confiding more in outsiders
Whether we just need someone to listen or are avoiding actually going straight to the source of the problem or both, the minute you confide more in an outsider than your partner, there is a problem.
The easiest example is your friend that calls you every other day because she and her partner just got into another fight and she ‘doesn’t even know how it happened.
These are people that are outsourcing their relationship problems to others because they don’t know how to talk to their partner instead. Do not also fall into those shoes.
4. You can’t remember details about each other’s lives
If you’ve been dating for longer than six months, your partner should know what you do for a living — even if they don’t know all about your line of work.
They should also know if you have any siblings, and what the name of your best friend is. These are all topics that come up naturally during everyday conversation, and if they’re still somewhat hazy, they’re not paying attention or it means the communication is not enough.
5. You don’t share news (either good or bad)
When something huge happens, and you are afraid he won’t understand why it’s a big deal. Or, if something small (yet upsetting) occurs, you know they won’t really give you the hug you need. Instead, it’ll be a shrug. Or worse, a lecture. Then there is an issue.
Couplehood is all about sharing. If you don’t share, you start keeping secrets. And if you keep too many secrets, suddenly you’ve built a life away from your significant other.
6. You prefer to communicate over the phone
Technology is a great way to keep in touch and drop someone a line, but that does not mean you should kill face-to-face interactions. If you’ve noticed that your date nights are awkward, then there’s a lot of room for improvement in the way you two communicate. If you get back into the practice, you’ll realize how fulfilling it truly is.
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