If you’re not thrilled about your dating prospects lately, it’s easy to blame everyone and everything else or that You’re not meeting enough people.
Or the people you’re meeting are liars, cheats, losers, and unserious people. Or perhaps you’re disgusted with the process of modern dating. Or maybe it’s social media’s fault.
The good news is that you might be playing a bigger role in your lack of dating success than you think. This is good news because that means you can adjust your approach and get better results.
Check out these classic mistakes:
1) You don’t post attractive photos
You know that posting a collection of flattering photos is critical to piquing your match’s interest. Make sure the pics are recent and regularly updated.
Include snaps from your holidays, fun hang out, and the likes. Show off the trees in your compound. Ask a friend to take some nice pictures of you. You won’t look desperate. You’ll look like you give a damn and are taking dating seriously.
2) You take too long to respond to texts or emails
You don’t have to respond to every means of communication immediately. But if you take a day to return a text, your potential partner is likely to put you in the “not too serious” category.
More, you lose important time. If texting feels like a chore, it’s probably a sign you’re not really interested in someone. Cut it and move on.
3) You don’t show enough interest
Be careful about taking “being hard to get” too far. It’s a fact of dating that we’re attracted to people who like us. So let your feelings flow. Tell your match what you like about them.
Say it if you had a great time and want to get together again. Schedule dates in advance. Show enthusiasm. Make someone excited about the prospect of getting to know you.
4) You’re not ready to date
Sometimes people need a push to get back on the dating scene after a breakup or divorce.
But if you’re checking your ex’s social media feed in the bathroom during a date, you’re not going to have the emotional stamina to welcome another person into your life.
5) You look for your date’s flaws
If you look hard enough, you can find out what’s wrong with anyone. Are you baiting your dates with questions that reveal qualities that are unattractive to you?
For example, if you suspect that your match isn’t very musically talented, it’s not helpful to ask him about his wrong music choices.
Ask him what physical activities he excels in general rather than expose his daily slothfulness. Give people a chance to shine and feel good around you.
6) You believe there’s something wrong with you
If you listen to the tapes in your head telling you that you’re not lovable, you’ll radiate that energy on a date. Answer back: “I hear you, but I’m not listening to you right now.”
Deflate the power of shame by reminding yourself of all your positive qualities before you meet someone. Find your confidence.
7) You assume it won’t work out
You tell yourself “He won’t like me” or “He’ll break your heart” as you walk into a date. Welcome to your self-fulfilling prophecy and see if that relationship would work!
8) You’re not available
You don’t have time to schedule your yearly doctor’s physical examination, let alone a Wednesday evening first date and a Saturday afternoon second date.
Perhaps you’re juggling work, travel, family issues, and a financial emergency. Or you’re recovering from an illness. Sometimes life makes it difficult to make dating a priority.
Rather than fit in a date with someone every few months, take a break until your life calms down.
9) You’re not making it a priority
You complain that dating shouldn’t be a job. Yet the task of finding a person with whom to share your life and heart should be one of the most important goals in your life.
Give it the time and attention it deserves. Send emails. Answer the texts. Go on the dates. Give yourself a real shot at finding love. It’s kind of a big deal.