The festive season is a time of merriment and joy; however, for those from a dysfunctional family, the Christmas holidays heighten the unhealthy and toxic dynamics in the family caused by unresolved conflicts or drama.
However, it is important to know how to navigate this period to protect your well-being and avoid emotional stress.
Here are 5 tips on how to survive the Christmas holidays with toxic family members.
1. Understand Your Family Dynamics
Every family has its share of dsyfunction, which comes to the fore during family gatherings and holidays. From making snide, derogatory, and hurtful remarks to those who engage in passive-aggressive behaviors.
Coming to terms with the fact that these people are unlikely to change helps you manage your expectations in the best way possible during the holiday season. The reality of this also enables you to approach these family reunions from a more realistic point of view, thereby lowering your risk of disappointment.
2. Set Boundaries
One of the most effective ways to cope with a toxic relationship is by establishing and setting clear boundaries, and doing this with family members is no exception. Boundaries are essential for relationships and for maintaining your emotional and mental well-being, especially around people who are draining and manipulative.
For example, if you have a family member who constantly triggers and provokes you when you are together, it is advised to reduce your interactions with them. If the conversation is steering toward your personal life or conversations off-limits, it is okay to say ‘NO’. Also, plan an exit strategy in the eventuality that tension rises.
Putting these boundaries in place and communicating them ahead of time makes it easier to maintain a sense of control when you are around toxic relatives.
3. Manage Your Expectations
It is important not to fall into the trap of wanting a picture-perfect reunion when toxic family members are involved. Accepting that some things will never change and acknowledging past patterns of behavior while preparing yourself for any potential conflict or drama is the best way to go. Remember that you can’t control the behaviours of others, but you can control your responses and reactions, so focus on that instead.
4. Practice Self-Care
When navigating and dealing with toxic family dynamics, you should prioritize self-care by engaging in activities that replenish your energy, such as reading, meditating, and walking. Also, protect your energy by limiting the time with those who drain you emotionally. Lastly, practicing mindfulness, like deep breathing exercises, can help you stay calm when you are emotionally triggered or stressed.
5. Know When To Stay Away
After all, has been said and done, sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself and your mental health is to stay away or entirely cut ties during the holidays. The holidays are a time of joy and happiness; however, if this will cost you your peace, then it is best to stay away. It is okay to prioritize peace by declining invitations over maintaining appearances. However, do well to communicate your decision respectfully.
In conclusion, by setting healthy boundaries, managing your expectations, and practicing self-care, you can approach the festive season with more grace.