Weddings can be stressful even at the best of times. There is so much to think about from the table decorations, to the music, to the clothes and if you are not careful, you can turn into a nag. Choosing the wrong maid of honor might just send you soaring into worry.
Your maid of honor could be a close relative, your childhood friend, or your colleague who is also your best friend.
It’s awesome that you can bestow such a meaningful title upon someone who is really important to you and invite them to play a key part in your wedding. However, there are often a lot of responsibilities that come with being a maid of honour.
You’re going to need someone who will be there by your side, through the good times and the bad, who can handle both the honor and the responsibilities associated with the task.
So here’s a little advice on how to choose your maid of honor, if you want to designate one for your special day:
1. Make Sure Your Candidates Understand The Responsibility
Weddings are supposed to be incredible, life changing, and super fun, but they are not solely an activity for drunk dancing and heavy drinking.
You need a maid of honor who will be able to make you laugh when it’s all getting a bit too much, but this shouldn’t come at the detriment of your big day.
Of course, most people hope to get married only once in their lifetime, so you don’t want your special day or the events surrounding your wedding spoiled because your bridesmaids didn’t take their roles seriously.
Be open and honest about what you expect from your bridesmaids and your maid of honor, plus the differences between their roles.
Discuss with your potential bridal party if they feel they can commit to your wedding preparations and the duties required of them leading up to and on your wedding day. If their lives are too hectic, they may have to take themselves out of the running which will make your job easier.
2. Honestly Evaluate Your Bridesmaids
It’s difficult not to let your rose tinted glasses cloud your vision. It would be wise to take a metaphorical step back from your bridesmaids and view them through the eyes of your friends and family.
For instance, the girl you’ve known practically all of your life may actually be someone who is difficult to pin down for meetings, or might have terrible organizational skills.
It might be wise to make a list of their strengths and weaknesses in regards to the role of the maid of honor and see who comes out on top.
3. No Maid of Honour at All
If you’re worried that other bridesmaids might have hurt feelings because you didn’t make them your maid of honour, or if you really can’t narrow your options down, cut out the position altogether!
There’s nothing saying you can’t get married without a maid of honor, and being sensible might be the best choice if it means keeping peace in the bridal suite.
Instead of singling out one friend as extra special, put all of your ‘maids on equal footing if only to avoid petty and unnecessary drama.
4. Don’t be pressured into making a decision
Your wedding day is probably one of the only days of your life where you and your partner can plan everything to be exactly how you want it, without feeling pressured into decisions.
This extends to choosing your maid of honor, so don’t let your friend guilt trip you into picking her because you were her maid of honor, or your mother-in-law politely insists that it must be your fiancé’s cousin. Your choice of maid of honor is your decision and there’s nothing more to it.
5. Consider Double Duty
Two is better than one, and that applies to maids of honor too. Spread the love—and the responsibilities—by pitching two women to fill the role, allowing them each to play to their strengths and help each other out. Things are likely to go better that way.