Everyone who goes into a relationship wants a partner who would cherish them and bring out the best in them. As a lady in a relationship, there are certain things to look out for in a partner before taking it a step further, also known as dealbreakers.
Is he insensitive to the waiter or gulps too many shots of alcohol, always wants to know where you are, or shows up late most of the time? Are these issues just annoying or signs of impending relationship trouble?
There are some signs that you must definitely pay attention to in the initial stages of your relationship.
Here are 9 things to look out for before going into a relationship.
1. Shows up more than a little late half the time
This can be a sign of anxiety, deviousness, unseriousness, or disrespect. As a person, I totally disregard people who aren’t punctual, so I’d definitely not go into a relationship with this type.
2. Loves alcohol a bit too much
If this happens often, more than once early on in the relationship, you might want to rethink. Pay attention to such things, as they can cause a lot of problems in the future. It could just be plain nerves or serious problems regarding his ability to control urges, mental health issues, or most times, even an addiction problem.
3. Talks bad about an ex
As we all know, some relationships end so abruptly that it is most of the time impossible to remain friends with one’s ex. It can also take time to get over a bad breakup, as most people heal differently, but if he constantly focuses on the ex, how can he focus on you?
If all they do is reminisce about their previous relationship, badmouthing their exes, then you might need to move on. After all, you aren’t ready to carry the garbage of being in a relationship with someone still hung up on another. And if they can devalue one person they had a relationship with, what’s to keep them from doing the same with you?
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4. Rejects food most of the time
Once may be fine, but if he does this frequently, then you may need to ask yourself if you are ready for that type of partner. This, most times, is a sign of a person who feels they have a right to special treatment.
Maybe no one can please the person; how do you know that you can? Would you be happy if your partner refuses to eat what you cooked? Or if he constantly complains about minor things?
5. He refuses to introduce you to family or friends
Does he always have an excuse not to introduce you to friends or family members? Most times, this can mean unseriousness, lack of commitment, or disrespect.
6. Doesn’t have friends
Everyone has a friend or two; therefore, if he doesn’t have other friends, you may want to consider why. You don’t want your partner to have too many friends so that they don’t have time for you. On the other hand, if your potential partner has a problem keeping friends or doesn’t even have any, then there might be a problem.
7. Constantly isolates you
He always calls to find out where you are and who you are with. They do not want you meeting your friends alone; he wants you to spend your time with him only and wants to know where you are when you are apart. This is totally a trust issue. They probably don’t trust themselves; how can they trust you then?
8. Wants to do only what he likes
Is he calling all the shots? Relationships are meant to be two-sided. If she’s interested in doing only what she likes, you have a problem.
9. Never gives
Somebody who is unwilling to invest money would find investing their emotions a tedious task. A good relationship should involve two givers. Not imbalanced, with one party expecting more from the other person.
In conclusion, the most important thing is to trust your judgment. You can keep your own personal list of five things that are not negotiable in your search for a partner and leave it at that.
This doesn’t mean that you should use a long list of deal-breakers as an excuse to keep people away because, as you know, no one is perfect. On the other hand, it is not advisable to go into any relationship thinking you’re going to reform them. The best thing is knowing what you want before going into a relationship.
