One of the most frustrating challenges in a marriage or relationship occurs when one spouse is doing the majority of the housework and the other spouse seems content doing nothing but lazying around.
Most times, you hear one spouse say things like “I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I’m always picking up after him. Doing all the chores and not being appreciated.”
This can certainly be an annoying and overtly frustrating situation, and if you’re currently facing the tough challenges of a lazy or disconnected husband or wife, here are a few ways you may be able to help the situation get a bit better.
1. Make your frustrations aired but don’t nag
It’s natural to want to talk with bitterness, sarcasm, nagging, and criticism when your husband doesn’t seem to be pulling their weight around the house but those negative approaches rarely have any positive impact.
Instead, look for ways to make your thoughts and frustrations with more care and less criticism. Most people respond better to positive reprimands than nagging and negativity.
Also talking about your problem will help you determine the root cause of the laziness. If your spouse is truly just being lazy, then address the behavior and encourage him to snap out of it.
2. Maintain high standards
When your spouse is constantly lazy, there’s a temptation to give in and lower your own standards by thinking, “If he doesn’t care, why should I even bother to do anything?”
You might try everything on this list and your spouse might still choose to remain lazy. You can’t control your spouse’s decisions, but you remain in complete control of your own, so choose to maintain a healthy and hardworking standard in the home and in all aspects of your life.
You’ll feel better, and your positive example may eventually inspire healthier behaviors in your spouse.
3. Look for something to praise them about
Praised behavior is usually one that is repeated. Look out for something your partner is doing well and point it out more often. Encourage that good behavior. Your encouragement could help your spouse create some more productive habits and help them want to do more.
Always remember that the words you speak to your spouse matters but the tone of voice you use also matters a greater deal.
4. Find areas they are mostly lazy and help them
If your spouse’s laziness happens just around the house, find projects you can do together, instead of just assigning him chores, which would also give you guys an opportunity to communicate.
If your spouse is lazy when it comes to exercise or physical health, instead of just dropping hints you should start a committed work out plan, plan physical activities that you can do together. The shared experience could create some healthier living habits and experiences for both of you.
If you are the one being lazy in your relationship, please work on it! You can be better! Your partner needs your full commitment, help, support, and partnership. Be on the move to be better right now. Don’t wait another day.