Yes, we know that breakups hurt and no woman wants to go through one. Women, most times become irrational and unhappy when going through a breakup and they tend to do things they should not do, which they end up regretting later on.
This should not be so- no matter how hurt you are after a breakup, you should protect your integrity and not do things to further elevate your pains and emotional struggle.
Below are some of the things not to do before a breakup:
1. Breakup over external influence
Who in your life is on Team Breakup? Are there friends or family members pushing you toward this decision? Evaluate their motives — they may have identified relationship red flags that shouldn’t be ignored, or they may have selfish, unhealthy reasons for pushing you toward a split — and make sure that you’re at peace with your decision, regardless of outside influences.
2. Jump into conclusions
When times get tough, it’s easy for the mind to drift off to daydreaming and fantasizing. Don’t get caught up in the “grass is greener on the other side” games – concluding that life will be better once you go back to being single. Don’t assume your current state of unhappiness is solely the fault of the relationship.
What then happens if you break up and you’re still unsatisfied? Nor should you leap to conclusions about the relationship just because a friend’s doomed relationship had a few similarities to yours. Try to take things at face value, not jumping ahead, exaggerating situations, or daydreaming your conflicts away.
3. Break up for the wrong reasons
Before you make a decision to end things, make sure you’re initiating a breakup for the right reasons. Don’t hurriedly call it quits. Slow down and evaluate your relationship: Is this decision purely an emotional one?
Wait until you’re calm and can carefully weigh your breakup motivation. It’s easy to give up when you’re exhausted or in the middle of unresolved conflict.
4. Break up Without communicating your needs with your partner
A relationship will fail eventually if you’re not all in. Don’t blame your partner for the crumbling of a romance if you haven’t given your best to the relationship. If you’re hesitant to say goodbye, try throwing yourself back into the union, full force. If you still care, don’t let the love seize without a fight.
5. Break up just to play games
If you’re secretly hoping that a breakup — or even just a threat of a breakup — will bring the two of you closer together, it won’t. Don’t play games with either of your hearts.
If you want things to get better, assert yourself and invest time and energy in the relationship. Never use the threat of a breakup as a tool to initiate change.
Below are some of the things not to do after a breakup:
1. Stay idle and keep thinking of your ex
After breakup, you should not stay idle; instead, get busy with anything else. You can try reading a book, learning something or making new friends. As a matter of the fact, you should avoid getting too much thought about the ex; for example, what they are probably doing now, what they used to do in the past, how they are changing without you, etc.
This will not help you give up the relationship easily. As long as you are not on a date, you should open your mind to worthy things that will make your life better. In case you just wallow up in the past, you will not only make you hurt all the time, but you also make all people around you feel uncomfortable.
2. Talk Bad About Your Ex
When your ex decides to go on without you, you should act as a reasonable person by not giving his or her details to the world. Never go about talking about your ex’s disadvantages as this just demonstrates you as a bad person.
You are indirectly lowering your standards and sending a bad message about yourself whenever you talk bad about your ex. Besides, talking bad about the ex also makes you look like a loser as losers always criticize other people when they cannot get what they want.
3. Sleep With Your Ex
The fact is that sex will never bring him or her back to you, so you should avoid letting the other sleep with you. The only thing you need to do is to extract your ex completely from your life, get time to heal yourself and get the space to move on.
Sex with your ex just draws you back at the time you would like to move on. In fact, sex is never the people’s final need in a relationship because sex is not all of the things.
4. Seek Revenge
You should not destroy his possession, key his car, or do something that could put you into legal troubles. The thrill of revenge just feeds your bitterness and hate and this will not heal any of your wounds.
Instead, you should forgive, accept to get a new start without him, and spend your concern on other people who deserve it. Therefore, seeking revenge is one of some worst things on what not to do after a break up.
5. Rush Into Another Relationship
Everyone gets the different ways to overcome this time, but you should give yourself a little time to heal your wounds.
After all, you will not want to get a relationship with someone who still miss the ex, will you? You give a new relationship a try, but in fact you just use new boyfriend to fill a void that he or she will not able to fill. It is unfair and to be honest, you will be the worse off.
After a breakup, you easily feel depressed and alone. It is so important to take the chance and pull yourself back as soon as possible. While it seemed traumatic, you can move on to get a new life that you hope. Sometimes, you are curious about what not to do after a break up.