It doesn’t matter who you are, sex for the first time is a very big deal as there are a lot of things involved. Whether you’re preparing to lose your virginity, at least a little discomfort is unavoidable. After all, everyone has a different body and sex is a learning process.
So, how can you reduce the amount of pain you feel? Read on to learn a thing or two.
1. Experiment with different positions
Once sex is underway, don’t be afraid to experiment with your body positioning. Just because one thing doesn’t feel good doesn’t mean everything won’t feel good! Switch things up and find what makes the experience most pleasurable for both you and your partner.
There are three basic positions for starters that provide the most pleasure to the female: missionary, girl on top, or doggie style. In all these positions, you are able to control and communicate with your partner easily.
2. Start with foreplay
For sex to be enjoyable, you have to be turned on. If you aren’t lubricated- either naturally or with some extra help, it is going to be painful. Foreplay is a great and extremely fun way to get things started.
It’s important to note that foreplay is different for everyone. The main reason for women to engage in foreplay is not only mental stimulation (getting more in the mood) but for biological reasons (to get wet)When a woman is turned on and wet, this makes sex more enjoyable and easier for penetration and less painful.
3. Lower your expectations
Take some time and evaluate your own expectations. What are they? Be wary that your girlfriends have often interpreted intercourse as sensual and hot when, in reality, your first time is more likely to be sweaty and very uncomfortable.
Believe it or not, unrealistic expectations can negatively affect your first experience. Go into the act with a clear mind and understand that what you’ll come to define as good sex might take time, practice and patience to establish.
4. Talk about sex with your partner
Often times, the pressure associated with sexual performance makes the experience more disappointing than it has to be. To erase such pressures, take the time to have a sex conversation with your partner beforehand.
Make the conversation fun and relaxed. Start with openers like “I like when you do this… now let’s try this,” or “this is painful… maybe this will feel better!” Learn each other’s pleasure zones and what makes you both feel good. Knowing your partner is turned on is bound to turn you on more, too.
Communicating beforehand will make you both feel more excited about the experience and, in turn, reduce pain.
5. Take it slow
To help ease into things, make sure you indicate to your partner that you want to take it slow. Be patient with each other, take your time, communicate during the act and learn what feels right and what doesn’t.
The best thing you can do to reduce any pain is just to be relaxed. Don’t push it or do it when you don’t really want to. Your nerves and hesitance might make it harder to get turned on and that can be really painful!
If you’re having trouble relaxing, try playing soothing music, focusing on your breathing, or simply laughing with your partner. Keep in mind that you can stop at any point if it hurts too much. Never think you have to just d o it and remember, sex should be enjoyable for both partners.